January 15, 2014|7:20 am
Psalms 139:23 (KJV), “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts.”
Isn’t it comforting to know that He does know us? Even when we do not know ourselves? He can understand why this comment made us feel loved or that one makes us feel like our lives purpose was wasted?
Wouldn’t it be awesome if we looked at everyone with His eyes and His heart? If instead of judging we can think; God knows this person! That is all that is needed. God KNOWS.
and for today I resolve to not cut myself down. I will also walk away or disengage from a phone call or text conversation where someone else cuts me down. I will not argue or defend myself. I will just remove myself from said conversation.
God created me to be me. If I am upset or grieving, if I am feeling hurt or down, I am allowed.
When I mention I cannot not deal with the many responsibilities in my life and ask for help, I will not accept being ignored. I have a right to ask. If people do not want to respond with something other than “Oh you handle everything..you always do” I do not have to handle everything. I am free to choose to drop things. The world is not on my shoulders and I need to quit picking it up.
I know everyone has days like this but mine is extending to months now and I declare today the day it begins to stop. It may take weeks or months. I will no longer accept the words “you’ve changed” as if I should automatically be apologizing.
Why YES I have changed. I think God expected me too. Maybe not in this way. Maybe I am not giving enough, studying my Bible enough or being the person you want me to be. I am hoping God is not finished with me yet. That eventually I will be a better person. That eventually I’ll be the person He wants me to be and / or become. In the meantime please be patient.