and for today I resolve to not cut myself down. I will also walk away or disengage from a phone call or text conversation where someone else cuts me down. I will not argue or defend myself. I will just remove myself from said conversation.
God created me to be me. If I am upset or grieving, if I am feeling hurt or down, I am allowed.
When I mention I cannot not deal with the many responsibilities in my life and ask for help, I will not accept being ignored. I have a right to ask. If people do not want to respond with something other than “Oh you handle everything..you always do” I do not have to handle everything. I am free to choose to drop things. The world is not on my shoulders and I need to quit picking it up.
I know everyone has days like this but mine is extending to months now and I declare today the day it begins to stop. It may take weeks or months. I will no longer accept the words “you’ve changed” as if I should automatically be apologizing.
Why YES I have changed. I think God expected me too. Maybe not in this way. Maybe I am not giving enough, studying my Bible enough or being the person you want me to be. I am hoping God is not finished with me yet. That eventually I will be a better person. That eventually I’ll be the person He wants me to be and / or become. In the meantime please be patient.